Since I trained as a hypnotherapist and Neuro Linguistic Programming practitioner (NLP), I've worked on myself a great deal. Perhaps, one of my most powerful tools is my ability to coach myself through tough times. My goal is to help others to do the same.

It's important to check your responses to different situations if they are causing negative emotions to surface.

Let me give you an example. Relatively recently, I found myself getting emotional and grumpy one day when I was tired. I must have done this unchecked for years without questioning it. This was, undoubtedly, one of the least helpful patterns I was running. When I questioned it, I realised that there was a definite intention behind it- the signals I was sending out were 'don't mess with me,' 'I'm in a bad mood.' However, the person this was affecting most was me! I realised that all I needed to do was relax and take some deep breaths in order to release the negative tension I was holding.

The ego develops patterns because habits and routines make it feel safe.

Here's how to find out whether you're running patterns, which are detrimental to your emotional well being:

Ask yourself the right questions.

1. What is the emotion?
2. Is there some kind of pattern here? (is this how you usually feel in these circumstances?)
3. Is this serving you?
4. How is this emotion holding you back?
5. Is there a better way you could do this?

Einstein famously said: 'The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.'

Notice your patterns. Are they bringing you happiness?