There is a wonderful belief within the thinking of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) that we are not our behaviour.

As I have mentioned in previous blog posts, it took me a long time to fully understand this.

Interestingly, we define people all the time: she is clever, he is shy, she is chatty... These are all just strategies. I shall clarify what I mean by this, at various intervals throughout our lives we develop 'coping strategies'. At school, some people become the 'class clown' or 'bully', others become a 'teacher's pet'. These strategies help them to function in some way. Often, teachers, family and peers confirm these strategies by labelling people in this way.

A strategy can be formed in response to a trauma. One such as fear or anxiety is your body's way of warning you that you're going to get hurt... Interestingly, strategies tend to stick- especially when we keep reconfirming them. It is unlikely that a strategy formed whilst we are at primary school would still be relevant once you enter the working world.

You may be wondering what can be done to create new strategies?

Intention is key here. A great mantra is 'confidence can be learned' or 'With every day that passes, I am becoming more and more confident in every way.' A change in the way that you speak to yourself would be incredibly beneficial.

There are lots of other strategies on my website. It doesn't matter which one you use, the important thing is that you use one that works for you.